Well I'm trying to study for my french test tomorrow

and I can't focus for shit

and I just realized that I have been neglecting all things internet basically, except for those things that don't really require much thought. So I guess I'll muse to my invisible audience:

I guess it's been almost a few months since I last posted yeah? Well a bunch of shit has happened. First off, I broke two bones in my foot, sprained my ankle, and tore up my collarbone. It happened the night after Thanksgiving at a house party. There were approx 15-20 people on this shoddy wood balcony and it collapsed a story, a tumultuous sea of bodies sprawled beneath all the timber. We got pretty fucked up; besides my injuries, there was a dislocated shoulder, several bruised bones and sprained ankles, a broken wrist, two concussions, seven staples in one guy's head, and one kid got knocked unconscious. I still think I got it worse. I couldn't fucking walk for 4 weeks. YOU try getting around a campus on the side of a fucking hill on crutches. fuck.

the balcony I fell through

Well after that shit happened, I stayed home from uni for a week to get back on my feet (i'm a muthafuckin pun masta) and it majorly screwed up my school-work schedule & shit. I ended up getting a D in this art class, and my GPA is totally fucked because of it. Idk, it's just like my perfectly planned out future of bachelors this and masters that was crumbling away. Brick by brick, I saw the walls meant to guide me to "success" in the outside world erode away. Scary as shit. I was pretty sure I was going to drop out since I was already on academic probation. I had a really fucked up year last year - I had a bunch of mental problems I guess you could say - and this was kind of my chance to prove that I'm not a fuck up. Thank god I have a second chance.

 these are some bugs I drew/painted for my art class that my prof didn't like :(

Then came winter break. I got the flu, then bronchitis. It was seriously like life kept shitting on me, but for some reason I was still super content. Just think about it man, life is all around you. Embrace it. There has been a lot of death surrounding me lately and that accident where I broke my foot kind of made me appreciate my own existence. I could be fucking buried 10 feet deep right now.

^ piC i took on a plane

Then came the whiskey. And I made up some killer dance moves with my crutches. I looked like a bird. There were some sweet ugly sweater parties (I always out-uglied everyone). I always out-classied everyone too ;)

I came back to school and started anew. I felt so unabashedly refreshed. New classes, new look, I COULD FUCKING WALK, things were going really well. I went back home for a weekend and saw all my friends again. I had a tenth birthday party for my cat and got waaay too fucking drunk. Was hella hungover for my gramma's 80th bday party. But it's okay, I talked to my aunt and uncle and we decided that for my spring break I would go work at one of their restaurants in Portland. fuck yeaaaah >>

mad MS paint skills//flier for my cat's bday party:

Now I'm back in Santa Cruz. I got a job, the opportunity for the most relevant and fascinating internship I could possibly experience in relation to my major (history of art and visual culture), every boy I ever like thinks I'm repulsive but whatever, I bought my first bike, I got driven home by the cops the other night, going to random punk shows & shit; life is good.

(here are pics of me being vain) 

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^ that is how much love I have to give
(you're welcome)

la llorona

la llorona - the weeping woman. a mexican legend of a beautiful woman who married a man above her stature with whom she had 3 children with. he ended up leaving her and would only come back to visit their kids. she became so depressed and consumed with the need for his attention that she drowned her children to gain back his love, but when he paid her no heed, she had realized the terrors she committed. she then drowned herself, and each night, to this day, she awakens to walk the land of the living to try and find her lost kin.

50 Shades of Cray

the weird ass paint chip skirt & pleather body harness are DIY - I'll do a tutorial because fuck u I do what i want

 

hey I look like a child ^

^and there's my booty. aaaallllllll 4 u 

x

oh yall dont even know what I look like

well here's me invading your personal space:

bout as creepy as I can get

Hello World

I've deleted and restarted this blog a few times but it felt like it was time for another new beginning.
It's weird for me to introduce myself. I feel like this is an online dating site or a very public journal. Well then. I am 19, I live in the forest, and I'm an Aries. I believe in the stars and the moon and magic and fairies and science and I like to learn and read. I love music and sometimes I get lost in it for hours and sometimes I try to bury myself in it. Art and fashion consume the majority of my life; I'm going to school for art and art history and in my free time I make clothes and jewelry, and stalk fashion blogs, and watch every runway show ever, and sit on my computer in the dark, hence why I'm so pale, as you will see. in time......in time. Next year I'll be taking a year abroad in London. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I feel my most plausible career route is a crazy cat lady, but I'd be down to marry someone really old and rich as well. I'm fairly antisocial; I mean I like to go out n do shit, like go to parties or clubs or shows etc but I don't have many friends. I'm kind of an isolationist. One of my favorite things in life is a solitary 4am cigarette in below 30 degree weather w a clear sky boasting every star imaginable. I also like insects.